My Story
My path has been a winding one to say the least. It began from pain.. well, it consciously began from pain. You see, I feel we are all always on the path - it's whether or not we are consciously walking. I have gratitude for every moment along the way because it ultimately led me here. A beautiful release happens once you realize all of the hard shit you have been through has ultimately served you in your awakening and development. From a very young age I experienced instability, violence, improper examples of communication, and fear. I have the beautiful gift of being able to feel energy, unfortunately as a young child, without knowledge or guidance, I didn't know what to do with the heavier energies I was feeling. So, I stuffed them down. Which led to a medical emergency when I was 6. It wasn't until decades later that I realized the link between the two.
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The programming and conditioning I received when as a kid led me to choosing partners that would help me continue to produce the same reality I was used to, the one I was comfortable with. More improper communication, betrayal, and violence. For a long long time, I was unconsciously roaming. Unaware of my lack of self worth. Unaware of my lack of love for myself. Unaware of my unhealthy coping mechanisms. Unaware of how I would continuously build pedestals and put people on them. Unaware of my desperate desire to search for love outside of myself all while having no connection within. An unconscious shell of a human being. Roaming.
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In the beginning of 2017 a huge shift happened. Somehow within myself I found enough courage and balls to create a boundary. That boundary changed the course of my life. I was cracked open so much so that the Light found its way in. This is the moment I began to consciously walk the path that ultimately led me back to Me.
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It's crazy because the decades of pain I endured was nothing compared to the pain of healing. Healing has darkness. It's not linear and at times it's straight up heartbreaking. Sitting with the darkness of my Soul continues to be the most humbling experience I face. Shedding the layers of myself that were formed out of fear and some messed up form of "protection" continues to be a hard battle. A hard battle, but not impossible.
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My conscious healing journey began in 2017. I dove into anything that offered me an opportunity to get to know myself on a deeper level. After some time, I realized that I needed to help others who are also going through their own journey. I know that my pain has a purpose, and I know that yours does too. I know the path of healing and how hard it can be at times. I'm here, extending my hand out to yours so we can walk together.